Merry Day of Gift Giving for Corporate Overlords, Part One

I tear up every time I see this video about Peter getting home from Prison.

However here is how it would go if your much older brother got home in Chicago.

S:"Peter!"

B:"Ah god, can't I have ten damn seconds before some annoying spawn pisses me off?"

S:"You're home!"

B:"Ah go....Wait do the parentals let you drink caffeine?"

S:"No mom says it hurts my heart murmur and asama."

B:"I got news, mom is dumb. This coffee smells like the shit am I right?"

S:"It does."

Hours later:

Mom: "She's bouncing off the damn walls and her breathing is starting to sound erratic and desperate. You've ruined Christmas again Peter, you asshole."

B: "Shut up mom, give me ten bucks so I can score!"